Too Much.

There are certain news stories that in my humble opinion need to be put away. For good. These are the stories receiving too much coverage in 2006:


Celebrity Bigotry: Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Marilyn Musgrave, etc. Can we please focus on the heros instead?

Celebrity Fashion: I really don't need to know what Nicole Richie eats or doesn't eat or that Brittany does not wear underwear, etc.

Celebrity Marriage: Showoffs who can marry likeTom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, etc.








Celebrity Confessions: “If I Did It” by that former football player he probably did kill his wife and her waiter/friend and that crazy guy who said he killed JonBenet Ramsey. Speaking of whom, with the number of kids abducted and abused in the US everyday, why is it that we still focus on this Ramsey girl.




Floyd Landis. It's not if you win or lose, it's how good your drugs can be masked. Or how often you change your story. If lying is a must, make up one story and stay with it. Millions of kids are watching your example.




Gay Marriage & Ted Haggard & Mike Jones & Mark Foley & James McGreevy: I hope someday it becomes not such a big deal to come out of the closet. Oh, and until you're out of the closet, it's best to stay outta the chat rooms. The gay community celebrates these folks too much. Again, there are better heroes. Like maybe the first lesbian speaker of the NYC city council.


“The First” Woman (news anchor, speaker of the house, presidential candidate, NYC city council speaker): Just like the gay thing, I hope we soon see the day when a woman's name is not followed by "the first woman to...." Maybe if we spent more time thinking about the news instead of the news anchor... Oh, wait, I'm starting to sound like Holly Hunter.

One word: Borat.



Political Advertising. Why do the candidates use negative ads? Because we talk about them way too much, they get sensational free coverage, and, well, they work. I can't wait until the presidential campaign commercials start. Probably sometime this month.



National Security. The fear machine strikes again. And again.